Monday, December 21, 2009

Egg Sucking Hound

when ever I am feeling overwhelmed or upset I know that I can always turn to a certain friend for comfort, companionship, and at times even a shoulder to cry on. Yes, my dog isn't the best conversationalist but he is an excellent listener. Honestly I cant even look at him most of the time with out smiling.

My Dog is a peculiar animal. He has all sorts of silly little habits. Like some times when I take him outside he will find a particularly smelly spot in the grass (usually a garter snake that made friends with the lawn mower) and beginning with his face he will slide his entire body length wise threw what ever it is that he found. Then he will role on to his back and squirm around in it while kicking his legs. I am always amazed by It. It looks like the most fun thing in the world to do. I know he has a blast rolling in stink or else he wouldn't do it so often. Secretly I want to try it but I never do. what if the neighbor saw me? He already avoids making eye contact. If he looked out his window early one Saturday morning and saw the dog and I legs up in the air tongue's dangling rolling vigorously side by side on a dead garter snake what would he think then? He would probably call the damn cops and have me committed, then spread wild rumors around the neighbor hood claiming that I was sacrificing snakes in some strange rituals.

Yeah its just not a good idea. what works for the dog doesn't always work for me. To bad.

He has an amazing sense of smell. This isn't always a good thing. A friend of mine had his bachelor party at a strip club. When I got home my dog attacked me sniffing me up and down as if he had never smelled me before. I am sure i stunk like whiskey and stripper perfume.

why is it that all strippers smell the same? you could be in a club in Mexico and the girls would smell the same as they do in New York. It is always the same perfume and they all bathe in it. they must order it special. Its called Essence De La Skank..............Its french.

Strippers are so entertaining on so many levels. Its like they were all cut from the same cloth. I mean come on "she is just a girl making her way through collage" right. Yeah right sweet heart, you've got grad student written all over you. Or at least in that tattoo on your lower back.

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