Thursday, January 7, 2010


This cold weather is horrible.

leaving my dog outside all day when I am at work makes me feel like a Nazi, Especially when it is negative 20 outside. but it goes without saying that I cant leave him in the house alone. The moment I am out that door he will precede to go wild. carefully sniffing my shoes to find the most expensive pair to chew on. then he would precede to the living room to take a dump behind the sofa, and follow that up by rubbing his genitals all over my favorite pillow.

He has never done any of these things that I know of, But the sneaky little bastard cant be trusted, I can see it in his eyes.

Oh yes the dog and I have this strange love hate thing going on. I am his best friend as well as his worst enemy, and vice versa. You can feel the tension in our relationship building. many sleepless nights are spent laying awake waiting for him to make his move. will it be a poison capsule in my morning breakfast or possibly a ball bat to the head after I doze off. The only reason I am still alive today is because that son of a bitch doesn't have the opposable digits required to use my shotgun.

one thing is certain he is dangerous. The neighborhood squirrel use to taunt him from out side the gate,then suddenly know one hears from him ever again. about a week ago I found that squirrels stiff corps in the toe of my work boot. It was like a message from a mob boss telling me I am next.

this could be the last thing I ever write so please if I don't make it tell the cops that they should investigate my dog. I have to go. He may be watching me.

Monday, January 4, 2010

For some reason lately I find myself looking back at some of the people who are now former coworkers of mine.

while working in the skilled trades as I do, you meet allot of strange people. Believe me the word strange is putting it lightly. After almost 10 years of working in this industry no form of lude or irrational behavior surprises me.Almost nothing shocks me any more. I have worked closely with ex cons, drug addicts, alcoholics, degenerates, thieves, rapists, and douchebags, and I have seen and heard it all.

That's not to say I haven't worked with some really great people over the years. I thought I would just share a few of the most colorful of the peacocks with you today.

I don't even know where to start so here goes

Wade S. never talked to any one. when ever someone of any kind of authority spoke to him he would fidget and laugh nervously. He was an excellent worker as long as you constantly told him what to do. He was very quiet and very odd and every one thought he was retarded or deranged. I always liked working with him. although he did have a habit of steeling all of my ketchup. no matter how many packets of ketchup I would get he would eat them all. I honestly wonder if that is all he would eat for lunch.

I worked on the same site with a drywaller named Clyde. He was a little stump of a man, probably in his mid 50s. Clyde had ears that were to small for his head. he always smelled like cigarettes, And he had a wrinkled leather like face that would put Charles Bronson to shame. He looked almost exactly like Moe Shizlack, the bartender from the Simpson's. For some unknown reason he would always call everyone an old mule. "Did you get the hallway finished you old mule?" "You coming outside for break you old mule?" It was really bothersome at times especially for me because Was only 19 I was neither old nor a mule.

I have had two bosses named Jason in my life. The first was a red headed little pussy that know one respected. he had no social skills and he was lazy. I have know Idea how he kept his job.

I should know better than to blog about people that I currently work with but lets throw caution to the wind and talk a little bit about Tom shall we.

Tom looks like the Marlboro man, if the Marlboro man lived to be about 70 years old. He has the foulest vocabulary of any old man I have ever met. And in my opinion god put him on this earth to be a construction site ramrod and nothing else. He yells allot. When ever any thing doesn't go exactly as planned it is because it is "fucker-balled". when ever something breaks its "fucker-balled". According to Tom pretty much everything in his line of site is "fucker-balled", including me if I screw up.

I wasn't for sure what exactly the word fucker-balled meant. so I did what any red blooded American would do and looked it up in Websters dictionary. surprisingly I couldn't find "fucker-balled" listed any where. So I have decided that the only obvious explanation is that the people who write Websters dictionary must in fact be fucker-balled themselves. I am going to bring this up to Tom at our next meeting, and I am sure that he will agree.